Are Your Feelings Not Valid Because They’re Not Emotionally Intelligent Enough To Understand Them? Is the question of the hour. So y’all we’re at the beginning of a new year and it has started with a bang already!! One of the things I’ve been deeply evaluating in 2020 was my feelings.
In 2020 one of the things I discovered about myself is that I’m looking for deeper connections. All across my entire circle that includes family friends and partners. Everyone stated is going to have to want deeper connections with themselves and me. I no longer accept on the surface relationships.
One of the things that got me started on this was being in therapy for year and realizing that my connections with people aren’t as deep as I want them. To be specific with my parents. Actually my mother to be even more specific, because my father doesn’t talk to me. One of the things that I’ve been focused on is finding out how to build Deeper connections.
Part of this journey that I never realized was the other persons emotional intelligence. It’s what allows them to understand what you were explaining to them about how you your only feelings. Gaining emotional knowledge allow the deeper connect to follow more naturally with people especially on a feelings level. It also helps communicate when someone says your actions hurt them. When you become emotionally intelligent one of the things you can do is understand how you did that and then be able to explain why you did it and apologize if need be. You’ll also be able to communicate in a way that allows a person to feel like they’re been heard and receive .
One of the tell tell signs that you get it is when you’re in a relationship and your partner comes to you and say “hey when you said XYZ I don’t like that it hurts my feelings.” If your response is normally “OK” you probably need to do some emotional work. Versus if someone says to you hey “you did XYZ and it hurt my feelings” It will sound a little something like this… You know what I did not realize that I hurt your feelings in that way I definitely apologize for my my actions. I didn’t realize that’s how that made you feel. If Im correct what you’re trying to say is XYZ and It immediately triggers a response in me that is negative and for that I apologize. Going forward I can check myself when I have those feelings.
Fellas this was an example of what it looks like when you’re emotionally intelligent and when you’re not. So the question I have for you guys is are you emotional intelligent? If so not why?